drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
