Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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