You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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