Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
