@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
