He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
