And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
