I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize