We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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