Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
