Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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