found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
