Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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