When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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