You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
