He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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