I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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