I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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