I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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