There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize