it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize