Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
