guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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