well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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