YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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