I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
