Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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