I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
