I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
