When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
