Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
