just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
