I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
