So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize