You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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