in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
