His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
