I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
