Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
