ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
BRING THE BAGELS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
