I need help removing her.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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