its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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