his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Drunk is not a location!
I'm too high and old for this...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My feet surprised me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
