Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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