so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
