Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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