im having a threesome with these popsicles
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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