To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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