Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
