don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
