I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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