im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
