I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
