omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
