i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
