I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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