I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
